Guide to Drafting Feedback

As you begin to get your drafts back, please take the time to read this post as it may help you to understand some of the things that are written in the comments on your script.

What do the letters, etc. mean?

WC = Word choice. I.e. I think you should reconsider the word you have used

Sp = Spelling

P = Punctuation. I.e. you have left something out OR you are using incorrect punctuation

Exp = Expression. I.e. I think the way you have phrased something sounds awkward and clumsy OR it may simply not make any sense!

SS = Sentence structure. I.e. the way you have constructed a sentence is awkward. In many cases, I make this comment because what you have written does not actually work as a stand alone sentence. There are often punctuation errors linked to your sentence structure lapses as well.

G = Grammar. These could be things like not using the correct tense, lapses in subject-verb agreement, issues with plurals, etc.

? = I am confused. If I type this anywhere in your draft it means that I am unclear on what you are trying to say.

So far, I am making similar comments on everyone's drafts.

These are based around a couple of key elements:

1. The need to proof-read! It is quite disappointing how few people are even willing to make use of the spell check and grammar function that is on Word, etc. When you submit a draft that still has red, green or purple/blue squiggly lines it tells me that you have been lazy :-(

2. I am suggesting that everyone go back to the criteria sheet (not just the front page of the task sheet) and check that you are addressing each element of the task in a balanced fashion.

3. Work on cohesion between ideas. You must be able to make links between your texts. This can be as simple as acknowledging that while the conflicts they are dealing with are different and the mediums (genres) are different, etc. there is a common element that in both cases they are talking about war/conflict and trying to influence the audience.

4. Make sure you are integrating your evidence.

5. Make sure you make good use of the word limit.

Image taken from Google images on 10/09/12

Peer drafting guidelines

As you progress through your partner’s feature article, check the following elements:

Introduction:

1. Is there a catchy title?

2. Is there an interesting and informative byline with your partner’s name?

3. Does the article begin with a hook (interesting lead)?

4. Does the introduction mention the poem, the poet, Art Spiegelman and “Maus”?

5. Has the writer made use of feature article techniques, such as rhetorical questions?

Repeat the following questions for each paragraph responding to one of the task questions:

6. Does the paragraph have a clear, concise topic sentence that identifies which question will be addressed?

7. Does the paragraph address part of the task statement (how the author was impacted by war/ the personal insight given/ how audiences are influenced to view war)?

8. Are statements backed up with evidence from the poem/book or author?

9. Has the writer included a SPECS or SLIMS analysis?

10. Does the paragraph only deal with one key concept?

11. Is there a closing statement that wraps up the paragraph?

Conclusion:

12. Does the conclusion draw on the ideas that have been discussed to make a closing statement?

13. Does it draw the reader’s attention back to the initial statement?

14. Does it make direct reference to the authors and poem/book that has been discussed?

15. Does it avoid bringing in any new information?

16. Does it close by leaving the reader with a strong idea to consider?

General Proof-Reading:

17. Are there instances where punctuation needs to be addressed?

18. Are there instances where spelling needs to be addressed?

19. Are there instances where the information is hard to follow because of poor sentence construction?

20. Are there instances where the information is hard to follow because of poor expression?

21. Are there instances where the writer has made poor word choices?

22. Are there instances where the writer has made grammar mistakes?

Formatting:

23. Is there at least one relevant picture included?

24. Does the picture/s have a caption explaining what the picture is and where the photo is from?

25. Is the work set out in a feature article format (large heading, columns, etc.)?

Draft Submission

Here is an overview of how the drafting submissions will work:

1. You need to submit by e-mail by no later than 3.15pm on Monday
2. I will mark drafts and return them based on the order in which they are submitted
3. If you would prefer that I mark a hard copy (as in hand written feedback rather than electronic) you must also provide me with a printed copy (the order will still be determined by when you submit via e-mail)
4. If you do not submit by the required time, you will only be eligible for verbal feedback providing that time permits for this.

Visual Representation of Feature Article

Top tips for feature articles

This is one of the documents from Blackboard that can help you in your preparation of the assignment.

Make sure you use the documents that are on Blackboard ("Remind me again, what's a feature article" folder) as there are heaps of useful tips and templates, etc. that can help you.

Top tips for writing feature articles

A feature story differs from a straight news story in one respect – its intent. A news story provides information about an event, idea or situation. The feature does a bit more – it may also interpret news, add depth and colour to a story, instruct or entertain.

Structure

· The introduction is the most important part - entice your reader, hook them in. Use drama, emotion, quotations, questions, descriptions.

· The body of the article needs to keep any promises or answer any questions raised in the introduction - try and maintain an "atmosphere" throughout the writing

· While the introduction draws the reader in, the conclusion should be written to help the reader remember the story - use a strong punchline

Some points to keep in mind:

· Focus on human interest - the feel and emotion you put into the article are critical. Don't think about writing a "science" story - think about writing a "human interest" story.

· Be clear about why you are writing the article. Is it to inform, persuade, observe, evaluate, or evoke emotion?

· Accuracy is important - you can interpret and embroider but not fudge.

· Keep your audience clearly in mind - what are their desires, what really matters to them?

· Use anecdotes and direct quotes to tell the story - try not to use too many of your own words.

· Talk to more than one person to provide a more complete picture – but don’t just add in sources to show how much work you’ve done. Be ruthless about who you put in and who you leave out!

· Don't rely on the computer spell-checker - especially those with a U.S. dictionary.

· Decide on the ‘tense' of your story at the start and stick to it.

· Avoid lengthy, complex paragraphs. Your article will appear in columns, so shorter paragraphs are more effective.

Planning, writing and editing your article: a step by step guide

You can use the following steps to help plan, write and proof-read your article:

Introduction:
1.  Create a catchy title
2. Create an interesting and informative byline that includes your name
3. Start your article with a hook/interesting lead (rhetorical question, anecdote, etc.)
4. Your introduction should mention the poem, the poet, Art Spiegelman and “Maus”
5. Try to make use of feature article techniques, such as rhetorical questions, etc.

Repeat the following steps for each paragraph responding to one of the task questions:
6. Your paragraph should have a clear, concise topic sentence that identifies which question will be addressed
7. The paragraph should address part of the task statement (how the author was impacted by war/ the personal insight given/ how audiences are influenced to view war)
8. Your statements should be backed up with evidence from the poem/book or author
9. Your paragraph should included evidence that you have completed a SPECS and/or SLIMS analysis of the poem/song
10. Make sure the paragraph only deals with one key concept
11. Make sure you have a closing statement that wraps up the paragraph

Conclusion:
12. Your conclusion should draw on the ideas that have been discussed to make a closing statement
13. Make sure your conclusion draws the reader's attention back to the initial statement
14. You need to make direct reference to the authors and poem/book that has been discussed
15. Make sure you avoid bringing in new information
16. Aim to close your argument by leaving the reader with a strong idea to consider

General Proof-Reading Questions to ask yourself:
17. Are there instances where punctuation needs to be addressed?
18. Are there instances where spelling needs to be addressed?
19. Are there instances where the information is hard to follow because of poor sentence construction?
20. Are there instances where the information is hard to follow because of poor expression?
21. Are there instances where you have made poor word choices?
22. Are there instances where you have made grammar mistakes?

Formatting Questions to Ask Yourself:
23. Is there at least one relevant picture included?
24. Does the picture/s have a caption explaining what the picture is and where the photo is from?
25. Is the work set out in a feature article format (large heading, slightly smaller but still identifiable byline, columns, pull quote(s), etc.)?

Further questions to help guide your brainstorming and planning

1. How was the poet/songwriter impacted by war/conflict?
2. How does this compare to how Art Spiegelman was influenced by war to write Maus?
3. What personal insight (opinion/experience) does the poet/songwriter offer the audience through this poem?
4. How does this compare to the personal insight offered in Maus?
5. How might the poem influence the way individuals and the wider public view war/conflict?
6. How does this compare to the way Maus influences individuals and the wider public to view war/conflict?

The questions based on the poem/song can link directly to the notes that you take when you complete the SPECS and SLIMS analysis:

Question 1- Subject Matter/Emotion
Question 3 - Purpose/Emotion
Question 5 - Craftsmanship/SLIMS/Summary (you may have considered how effective the writer was in achieving their purpose?

You can also take similar notes for Maus which use SPECS and SLIMS as a guide. Obviously, when you get to the SLIMS parts though you would only look at Structure (The comic format, flashbacks, etc.), the Language and the Imagery (making sure that within this element you consider the importance of the graphics).

You can also use the questions to structure your article.

Questions 1&2 link together.

Questions 3&4 link together.

Questions 5&6 link together.

These can form your main body so you would just need to work on your Headline, Byline, Lead (Introduction), Conclusion, etc.